Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
