she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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