Where did you get a picture of my penis
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
