I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize