What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Life is so much better after having sex.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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