And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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