A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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