The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
