Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize