it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You ate ashes out of my bong
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
