A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
try to milk me bitch
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