i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
