I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
