So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
