Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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