I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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