we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
