Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
