if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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