we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
What a dumb baby whore.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
