You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
