I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
