Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
