I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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