I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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