Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
