fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
