that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
