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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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