I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
