the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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