Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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