I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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