Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
