I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
