Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
