I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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