there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
