i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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