I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
