We're like a lot better than the average bears
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
