grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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