i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize