we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
