Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
