ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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