Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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