Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
