Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize