she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The uberlube is also flammable
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
