you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
