Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
