You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
