i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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