to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
