And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
