you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
