im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize