Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I believe in your delicious
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
