Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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