How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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